first things first . . .

So first things first. Why did I name my blog and my website Snailbug? I’ll be happy to tell you about it.

You see my parents had chosen a perfectly lovely name for me. No, it was not Snailbug. My parents are not celebrities. Thus, Snailbug, along with the following list of names was not even a consideration to them:

Blanket – Michael Jackson’s child
Apple – Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter
Coco – daughter of David and Courteney Arquette (By the way, do you know what Coco means in Portuguese if you say it just right? Hmmmm . . . )
Kyd – David Duchovny’s son
Camera – daughter of Arthur Ashe, a tennis player

You know I’ve wondered . . . if Blanket, Apple, Coco, Kyd and Camera all got together to play, what do you suppose would happen? This is the way I see it. Kyd would probably have an afternoon snack with Apple, rub Coco on Blanket and then use Camera to document it all. It’s a scary thought, isn’t it? But I digress.

Yes, my parents had chosen a perfectly lovely name for me, Michelle. Then before my birth, a family moved into the neighborhood with a daughter named Michelle. Suddenly the name became unacceptable. So my parents did what any normal parents would do, they ducked back a letter in the alphabet and my name became Lichelle.

Now, I love my name. I’m really glad that Michelle Whatever-her-last-name moved into the neighborhood. My name is unusual and I quite like it. However, when you have an uncommon name, you find yourself incessantly repeating and spelling it every time you tell your name to someone. I’ve long ago given up trying to get people to get it right. I say my name correctly, emphasizing the "L" sound, and then I almost always get back: "Michelle?" to which I now smile and nod my head. It’s just not worth the whole spelling-it-out routine.

When people see my name in print, they also find it quite troublesome. Please look at it for a second: Lichelle. Does it look like a name you’ve seen before and know how to pronounce? Oh yes, Michelle. That’s right. But regardless of that similarity, I have been called an interesting assortment of names. Michelle is actually at the top of the list. People just assume my name has been printed with a typographical error, and they kindly correct it for me. Then there’s Lucille, a nice name, but not mine. Another good one is Li-chell, read with the "ch" sounding its normal digraph sound as heard in church. My all time favorite, however, comes from my high school AP English teacher, Mr. Bessie. The first day of class when he called roll, he called me Lick-hell-ee. Now wouldn’t you think an English teacher would have better reading sense than that? I guess he missed the whole "Hooked on Phonics" thing. I responded with such indignance at the butchering of my name that he gleefully called me Lick-hell-ee the entire year.

I am going somewhere with this. I promise. Thanks for your patience. So when it came time to choose a name for my web page, I knew people would have such a hard time remembering my name and then spelling it that I figured I should choose something a little simpler. So I began to think that perhaps a nickname would be a good idea. I thought of a few I’d rather not discuss, but then I remembered Snailbug. When I was growing up, my family sometimes called me Snailbug, and I thought that would be a fun name, one people could spell and remember. Perhaps you’re wondering where Snailbug came from. It’s perfectly logical. Follow along with me: Lichelle, Chellee, (pronounced Shellee) Shellbug, and finally Snailbug. And there you have it. That is why I named my website Snailbug.com and my blog Snailbug Alley.

You know, I’m curious . . . What do you suppose would happen if Kyd invited Jermajesty (Jermaine Jackson’s son) to his house to play, along with all those other celebrity kids? Would Kyd bow and grovel or would he attempt to seize power and usurp the kingdom?

Just wondering.