Saturday, August 13, 2011

move on

Today marks the one year anniversary of the date of my divorce. When I married thirty-one plus years ago, I never dreamed that my road would bring me here. It didn’t occur to me at that point in time that marriage and life could be anything but blissful, wonderful, and fairy-tale perfect. I’ve been down a long, rocky road. I’ve learned and grown a lot. I’ve survived some tough, painful experiences. Sometimes when I get down in the dumps about the waste of my youth, I’m sure that if I could just contact my young self, I’d issue a strong warning: “Run away fast! There’s nothing here but hurt!” But then I always come back to that happy place, that place in my heart where my girls live, and I know that if I was really confronted with the full knowledge of those thirty years and the possibility of warning myself, that no, I wouldn’t stop myself. I might raise my arm ready to shout at myself: “Go now! Before all the hurt begins!” But then I know I would quietly turn away from my young self and allow myself to move on through those thirty years because life without my babies wouldn’t be life at all. They're the best thing that ever happened to me. I’d live it all again and again just so I could have the privilege of loving, raising, and knowing my girls, my best friends, the joy of my life.

me and my girls--1993


Shauntel said...

Hurrah for a year of a lighter, more happy mama.

And although I sincerely wish you could've skipped the pain, I'm so very grateful you didn't run away. Because where would I be without my best friend?

P.S. This photo is possibly the cutest photo in the world. So sweet.
P.P.S. I forgot how much Danielle really did look like the Gerber baby.

C said...

i found your blog a while ago but just read it again today. You are an incredible person, Lichelle, and I am happy for you on so many levels. We are in the same neighborhood and live only a few houses away from each other, but life keeps us busy and apart, so here I am on your blog! You have beautiful daughters and it is great to see them with their accomplishments. Congratulations on your graduation. I know it is something you have been working on for a while and you did a great job! And congrats on the employment too! I'm a bit envious of that part. I keep looking but never get past the commitment part. I wish you continued joy with your girls.