the princess and the pea as never before

Once upon a time there was a kingdom. This kingdom was in search of an imperial princess. Now this princess needed to be pretty and sweet and loyal. This princess needed to be small and fluffy and, well, needy. Oh, and ever so sensitive. Yes, the sensitive in this story is very important. So the queen in the kingdom came up with a delightful plan. She decided to invite some candidates to her palace to spend the night. Now what these candidates did not know is that when they went to bed at night, there would be a pea under their mattresses. Whichever candidate could feel this pea would be the princess of the kingdom for she possessed all the attributes the queen was in search of. The candidates began to arrive. Among them was a delightful chocolate colored beauty named Miley.

So the night began. There was dog chow to go around in abundance. The water dishes were constantly full of delicious, cool spring water. Servants stood nearby to pet these candidates and shower them with love. And of course the treats were busting from the cornucopia. The program for the evening's entertainment included chew toys of plastic, of rope, of every desirable kind, and then a long, happy stroll around the palace grounds.

Finally, the evening drew to an end, and the candidates were escorted to their quarters. Miley was delighted to find that her mattress was high, soft, and cushy. But what was that? There was something . . . something . . . sniff, sniff, sniff. Yes, there was something. Miley jumped from her throne of cush and dug beneath all the beautiful fluff to find what? A pea. Gladly she gobbled it up. How lovely to be provided a bedtime treat. These accommodations were certainly royal indeed. The regal queen hadn't neglected a single detail in entertaining her guests.

The following morning the queen went from bedchamber to bedchamber, asking her guests how they had fared the night. Each and every one yawned prettily, patting their lips ever so daintily. "Oh, so lovely."

Finally in great discouragement, the queen came to the last bedchamber. "So Miley, my dear, how did you sleep?"

"Well, quite lovely actually."

The queen's countenance fell. Was there not a princess to be found for her kingdom?

"Except one thing," Miley added.

The queen smiled and straightened up. "Yes, what is it? Were you not comfortable in the berth provided for you?"

"Oh, no, my lady." Miley said, "I was quite comfortable. Comfortable, in deed. In fact the lovely after dinner treat you left for me under the mattress was so much appreciated."

"Then you felt it!" exclaimed the queen.

"Oh no, not at all. Certainly not. Under all that mattress? Are you kidding? I sniffed it out of course. I was just wondering where I could get some more. That was an awesome treat, and I'm pretty sure I'm hungry again."

In despair, the queen called for her servant. "Escort them all out. Every one of them. The kingdom will have to do without a princess."

This is a mountain of pillows and a comforter piled up in the corner for the night. Miley scaled it and plopped down as if to say, "Thank you very much for this fine bed." The story, well, it just needed to be told.